Articles Tagged ‘Relationships’

Being All Things To All People

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

ScottManning

I’d like to remind you about a saying that I know you’ve heard:

“You can please all of the people some of the time and you can please some of the people all of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time.”

And, it’s wrong, because you can’t even please all of the people some of the time, not a chance. The bigger issue though, that will corrupt your business and success mindset and your focus, is trying to please
people — period.

Listen up, you’ll never hear anyone tell you straight about this whole “people
pleasing” thing, at least usually they all tell you what they think will be popular,
I’ll tell you what’s true. As long as you are living your life around trying to
please people you will be desperately unhappy, frustrated, and lost in a maze of
confusion around what your real purpose is.

I have long ago recommended the book, The Four Agreements – that I stand behind as
the most influential book I’ve ever read. That explains why this doesn’t work…so
I’m not going to go into that here, I am going to say that the problem with people pleasing is
that what pleases them doesn’t usually and won’t always satisfy what you are trying
to achieve, what your life is about, etc.

Now, family, spouse, children, etc you can be the judge there, but even still, if
you are the leader then you should know what’s best, and what pleases them isn’t
always…obviously.

I am a big “relationship” person who believes that is the most valuable thing in
life, with customers, with family, with those people you serve; however, it is not
what makes you. You have to make yourself, stand for something as the old song goes,
or fall for anything, otherwise known as being a servant to everyone but yourself.

The marketing lesson here is simple: ALL PEOPLE and ALL CUSTOMER and ALL
RELATIONSHIPS and ALL OPPORTUNITIES in your life are not created equal, cannot and
should not be pleased, pursued, made happy – not a chance.

I believe in high quality relationships and the first and most important thing about
them is you have to give value to those relationships – show me a person with too
many relationships and trying to balance them all out is no different than someone
splitting their love and attention between people and expecting all of them to feel
well served — do it the wrong way as I’ve learned the hard way with “significant
others” or do it with your children and you will know that you’ll never get it
perfect.

That is why in business and in your personal life you must establish a focus, a
priority, a hierarchy of people and the relationships and pursuits you choose and
then do right by them and they should always be made up of what best serves your own
personal agenda.
read full article »

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Sharing Memories and Building a Powerful Personal Brand

Friday, November 16th, 2012

kylepic

Think about your family’s best stories. What are the stories that get told and retold during family gatherings — those stories that are passed down from generation to generation, father to son, mother to daughter. These are the stories that family legend are made of.

There is no reason you can’t have stories like that yourself, or that they need to stay only with you. That’s one of the cool things social media has let us do is to share those stories with each other.

But here’s the important thing: you have to tell these stories. You have to be willing to share those stories with people. Whether it’s writing it up as a blog post, posting it on Facebook, or letting your videos and pictures tell the story for you and putting them online for others to see and share.

If you’re not comfortable sharing certain parts of your life, don’t share them. No one said you had to tell everything you were doing, show photos of every aspect of your life, or reveal every personal detail you’d rather keep private.

“There are just some things I don’t want people to know about,” we often hear from social media resisters.

That’s fine, don’t share those things. If you don’t want people to know where you live, don’t put your house on Foursquare. If you don’t want people to know you’re on vacation, don’t post photos to Facebook while you’re out.

Choose the parts of your life you want to share with people, and make it available for people to read, watch, and enjoy. Share the parts of your life that you feel comfortable sharing, and keep the rest of the stuff private. Rather than relying on the ever-changing, always-complex Facebook privacy settings to keep your stuff hidden, just don’t put it up.

Just remember that in order to build relationships with people and get them to know and like you, you need to reveal some parts of yourself to make yourself seem more human. That’s where sharing your memories and stories, through blogging, status updates, tweets, photos, and videos, are all going to help you with this.

kyle lacy
ExactTarget
(blog) www.kylelacy.com
(join) www.smallerindiana.com
(tweet) kyleplacy

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The Impact of Acceptance

Tuesday, July 24th, 2012

ScottManning

Acceptance, that one thing that will make you or break you…literally. Every day you decide what you will and won’t accept, things you let slide, things you agree or disagree with, and the actions that you then take and/or settle for all based on what you accept.

As an example, in our consulting business my brother has final say in any client that we accept, because we’ve been doing this long enough to know of warning signs of cheap clients, problem clients, lazy clients, high-maintenance clients, etc. So, we’re careful to vet them and run them through several litmus tests before we agree to take their money.

That’s another reason why I always initiate every relationship with a paid day of
consulting. To meet, work with, get to know someone and him/her to know me, before
we move into any other type of more involved relationship.

This, in fact, is the very problem at the core of most all relationships, most
people never really “get to know” the person they are dealing with, or for that
matter, in business or love with. They stop their relationship “discovery” and
“exploring” and getting to know someone at the core as soon as they are met with
some form or fashion of immediate gratification.

In business, that would be quick and easy opportunity, or just taking the money of
anyone who will offer it up to you. In life, it’s not being discerning enough about
those you let close to you, those you invest yourself in, and those you give parts
or all of your life too.

There are different degrees of acceptance. For your business partner or life
partner, obviously it’s the single most important relationship you will ever have
and therefore you should accept nothing short of as close to perfection and
compatibility and like-minded principles and then as importantly the promise of
committed work on your relationship and continual strive for perfection as possible.

Then you have other relationships, based on how “close in” they are to you and how
much influence and/or control you allow them to have over your life all depends on
how accepting you are able to be without sacrificing yourself, without giving up
things that are important to you.

In business, this is the same with your customers and employees.
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Collaboration is King!

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Collaboration: To work jointly with others or together especially in an intellectual endeavor.

It is safe to say that most jobs involve collaborating with peers. I have a friend that works in a national sports organization managing their partnerships. Her job consists of collaborating with all departments in the organization to fulfill the contractual obligations of the partnerships. Without the ability to collaborate with team members, she would fail and the company would lose all of its partners. Needless to say, she practices such skills on a regular basis and is reliant on her peers to do the same.

One of the common themes to my coaching and team building events is helping my clients fine-tune their collaboration skills and give them the tools they need to be intentional and purposeful when doing so. It is easy to see the power of team work when the group comes together in a team building activity; the same holds true in the workplace.

That begs the question: when it comes to collaboration, where do you begin?

1. SHIFT – shift your team’s mindset. A way to cultivate a mindset directed toward collaboration and continuous improvement is to simply ask, “How can I make this better?” When a company truly collaborates and provides the best product or service by improving the processes that produce them, they create efficiencies in producing the desired end result and organizations are more effective.

2. OWN IT – own your stake in the project and overall goal. Don’t rely on others to change the process; start the process and always seek opportunities to improve it. It is a team effort and by encouraging people to collaborate, efficiencies are created for the group and all involved can work smarter, harder, and have better results. Take ownership and know that your contribution has an effect on the bottom line.

“Being in a band is always a compromise. Provided that the balance is good, what you lose in compromise, you gain by collaboration” – Mike Rutherford

Happy collaborating!

Deseri Garcia
Vida Aventura
317-362-4898
www.vidaaventura.net

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