Articles Tagged ‘emotional intelligence’

Anger to Resolve = Mental Toughness

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

How fast do you go from anger to resolve? How fast do you go from losing your temper, to making a decision to move forward and act differently in a positive way.

I think many us think that when we lose our temper, be it in our golf game, our relationships, when we lose a big sale or account, or in a business, especially in a business management setting, we are lesser for it.

As a leader, it is never good to lose your temper. However, even the best of us have too much on our plates sometimes, and it just spills over. My belief is that part of building and strengthening the mind is working on how fast we can turn anger into resolve. Turn the negative into a decision to make positive actions.

In Tennis, Pete Sampras was famous for double faulting into an add-out point just to turn around and win the game with two aces.

Many great golfers make huge putts to scramble out of poor tee shots, or they turn in 4 birdies on the back nine after getting off track on the front nine.

Entrepreneur and magnate Donald Trump is famous for his resolve to come back. I’ve got to imagine he was pretty damn angry when he lost millions of dollars on several occasions, but it was his resolve that pulled him through the tough times.

How fast you can turn anger to resolve is a multiplier, because it is how fast you can go to striving forward instead of reeling backward. The difference in how this time is spent is the slight difference between those who produce at the highest levels, and those who merely compete in the game.

Tony Scelzo
Rainmakers Marketing Group
317-216-6345
Tony@gorainmakers.com

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Self Awareness Can Be Learned

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

The other day I got a rather heated email from someone stating that the reason they didn’t accomplish a task was because I didn’t remind them. My initial reaction was to be very spiteful and aggressive back. It took me a moment to recognize what I was feeling and what I was frustrated with. I was frustrated that the person was trying to shift blame for there own failings. Reality was that I did my job just the way I was supposed to. Once I took the time to understand what I was feeling and what the person was doing, I was able to respond without anger and in a manner that honored all involved.

I have started to read more on Emotional Intelligence. The first pillar is Self Awareness. People with a healthy sense of self-awareness are “comfortable in their own skin.” They understand their strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and impact on others.

An article from Susan Davis, entitled Business EQ: Being Aware of Your Emotions, captures the idea that Self Awareness starts with Self Confidence that allows us to accurately understand our true abilities and goals. She also indicates that self awareness is something that can certainly be learned.

For me the best way I learn is through slowing down and talking honestly with friends. Prior to responding and just reacting (especially when the emotions are anger or insecurity), I sit in the moment, slow down, and wait until I become aware of myself. I am then able to respond from a position of truth. I also glean much from insight of friends. Friends that are willing to look at me and state “You are very upset and I think it is because…” are truly valuable.

I think there are many methods and I would hate to miss an opportunity because I didn’t ask for feedback. So, please share with me what are methods you use to become more self aware.

Brook M. Avey, CPA
President
www.brooksideaccounting.com
888-317-4835

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