We all have a lens through which we see the world. This lens was developed over time and is heavily influenced by our environment. If you grew up in a wealthy upper class neighborhood you fully expect that every kid should have a car when they turn 16, go on multiple vacations year and attend the best college.

On the other hand, if you were raised in a lower class environment you may have never been on an airplane, struggle to find bus fare each day and only know a handful of people who’ve graduated from high school.

The communication problem we all struggle with is that we expect everyone to see life through our paradigm. This is rarely the case. Every time you get into an argument and you ask yourself, “How can they possibly think that way?” you are suffering from this challenge.

The next time you’re preparing for a conversation with a prospect, employee, coworker or your spouse I suggest that you carefully consider their perspective before you formulate your argument.

You can win the argument from your perspective and seem like a complete idiot to the person sitting across the table.

As Dr. Stephen Covey points out, “seek first to understand”.

C.J. McClanahan
Reachmore Strategies
317-576-8492
cjm@goreachmore.com

Developing great communication skills will set you apart from the rest of the pack.

Think about what skills you need:
• Masterful Listening Techniques – do you really know what your
customer needs and why? What is his pain? Can you hear it in what
he says and in how he says it?

• Tone-Setting Body Language – Do you know when to mirror your
customer’s body language? Does your body language set the tone for
better or more frequent communication with your customer?
• Just-Right Intonation and Rate of Speech – Does the way you talk
inspire energy and action from your customer? Or do you find your
customer drifting off to other topics or bored with your
product/service? Does the customer “get it” that your product or
service resolves his pain?
• Powerful, Persuasive Voice Control – Do you sound influential? Does
your voice put people at ease so they freely open up to you about their
pain? Or do you sound tense, nervous, disorganized, whiney, slow, or
bored?

You already know the message you want your customer to hear. That’s the easy part.
And no matter how often you say your 60-second pitch or go through your sales material,
there are people who will not connect with that message; they just won’t “get it”. One of
the reasons is because, in general, your message will only resonate when WHAT you say
and HOW you say it match.

HOW you say your message makes all the difference. And there is an art to this. Before
you head off to that next big call, think about the feeling you want to leave with your
customer; the emotion you want to share. For example, consider that you might want to
start with a warm, friendly message and follow up with a confident, powerful, or
influential message.

Each feeling you want to convey can be portrayed by
1. descriptive word
2. mental picture or image
3. matching body language

Prepare for your call by making sure your style of communication (the HOW) matches
your message. To start off with a warm, friendly message:
1. Think of a key word which evokes warm, friendly feelings: “tender”, “calm”,
“sunshine”, “cozy”. Repeat that one key word to yourself several times with
emphasis until you feel it.
2. Picture the mental image. Visualize hugging a child or your spouse, wrapping up
in a blanket by the fireplace, walking along the beach in the bright sun. Make the
picture clear and vivid.
3. Change the sound of your voice by changing your body tone and placement.
Smile. Talk expressively with energy. Move. Make your movements BIG.
And to continue with power and influence:
1. Think of a key word which evokes a sense of power and influence: “strong”,
“firm”, “confident”
2. Picture yourself in that manner. Imagine being the greatest story teller, or the
greatest of all coaches, a uniformed commander, THE expert speaking to an
audience glued to your every word. Now visualize yourself giving your intended
message. Picture yourself calm, in control, in the zone.
3. Body Language: If you want to be powerful and influential, stand up. Perfect
posture. Use strong hand gestures. Don’t walk around much. Maintain good eye
contact. Don’t look at objects in the room; only people. When speaking on the
phone, don’t let your eyes wander. Make eye contact with a picture of a
person…speak to her.

Ellen Dunnigan
Accent On Business
ellen@accentonbusiness.net