The Impact of Acceptance

by Scott Manning - July 24th, 2012

ScottManning

Acceptance, that one thing that will make you or break you…literally. Every day you decide what you will and won’t accept, things you let slide, things you agree or disagree with, and the actions that you then take and/or settle for all based on what you accept.

As an example, in our consulting business my brother has final say in any client that we accept, because we’ve been doing this long enough to know of warning signs of cheap clients, problem clients, lazy clients, high-maintenance clients, etc. So, we’re careful to vet them and run them through several litmus tests before we agree to take their money.

That’s another reason why I always initiate every relationship with a paid day of
consulting. To meet, work with, get to know someone and him/her to know me, before
we move into any other type of more involved relationship.

This, in fact, is the very problem at the core of most all relationships, most
people never really “get to know” the person they are dealing with, or for that
matter, in business or love with. They stop their relationship “discovery” and
“exploring” and getting to know someone at the core as soon as they are met with
some form or fashion of immediate gratification.

In business, that would be quick and easy opportunity, or just taking the money of
anyone who will offer it up to you. In life, it’s not being discerning enough about
those you let close to you, those you invest yourself in, and those you give parts
or all of your life too.

There are different degrees of acceptance. For your business partner or life
partner, obviously it’s the single most important relationship you will ever have
and therefore you should accept nothing short of as close to perfection and
compatibility and like-minded principles and then as importantly the promise of
committed work on your relationship and continual strive for perfection as possible.

Then you have other relationships, based on how “close in” they are to you and how
much influence and/or control you allow them to have over your life all depends on
how accepting you are able to be without sacrificing yourself, without giving up
things that are important to you.

In business, this is the same with your customers and employees.

The good news is you get to pick and choose BOTH your customers and your employees
and your vendors and your, well everything else. The bad news is, if you’re not
completely happy and profiting from all the relationships you have in your life and
business right now, well, you picked those also.

Now, please listen, this is the biggest fallacy I see people in general make about
all things in life…that ANYTHING is actually “equal”; no, nothing is equal,
c’mon, give me a break.

Here’s a test for you, if you have 3 people in your life all in a car accident in
different states at the same time, hospitalized…one’s your best friend from high
school, one’s your spouse’s sister’s husband’s brother, and one’s your own mother –
which one are you going to go see first and take care of.

Okay, so that’s a stupid question. But, I’m telling you, most everybody approaches
daily life and all of their relationships equally. You can’t. At least not and feel
good about yourself.

The bottom line is you have to have priorities in life and you have to know in
advance what you will accept or not accept and make up your mind before you have to,
well, make up your mind.

Again, in business, you decide what you will tolerate from your customers, what
price points you sell at, how hard you work and how much money you will make. In
life, you decide the quality of people you spend your time around, the ambitions you
pursue, the way you either waste the days or savor the moments.

I truly challenge you to examine who and how you are spending your time, what you
are accepting in your life that you know you shouldn’t be. Where are you giving in
to your own standards, your own desires, dreams, ambitions. Where are you
compromising…

Make a list of the “roles” you fill in your life, like, business partner, key
employees, advisor, coach, high level customers, low level customers – then decide
what characteristics each of these people need to have, what you’ll accept from
them.

HINT: I told you earlier the closer in, the most intimate, the more impact and
influence you have to have for and with and from these people, the more you must NOT
compromise with what you’ll accept.

Honestly, it’s not hard to determine “who” your best customers should be that you’ll
involve yourself with everyday in your business, any more so than it is blatantly
obvious “who” the person is that you want for your life partner or business partner.

I’ve done this by the way, made the list of adjectives and then matched up the
people. I’m so thankful for my brother and even if he weren’t my brother, he matches
and balances me out precisely to the only type of person I could or want to work
with as my business partner in the context which we do.

The solution – LISTEN TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU, they see what you’re doing, they know
who you are, they have the insight and as long as you know they are caring about
your well-being, then shut up, grow up, get with the program and stop accepting
shitty situations in your life and business, fix them, before, and I do mean this,
before, it’s too late.

Probably that’s the best thing I do for my clients and private coaching members,
other than tell them the truth, I see what they don’t because they’re “involved” and
they listen because they know I care. There is a point at which it is too late…oh
you can always change, but you lose a lot of life, time, resources, friends in the
process while you’re screwing around pretending something that isn’t “ideal” is.
Everything in life really is obvious.

I HATE THE EXPRESSION “too good to be true”…who ever said that must have had a
really stupid pathetic life, because life is all about things being soooooo goooood
and TRUE. You just have to accept nothing less than that and you’ll have it. Really,
it’s about that easy. When you surround yourself with the right people, thoughts,
and ideas, it happens like magic.

When you’re around negative people you don’t live life to your potential and you
don’t even know it because you choose to not see clearly, not listen to others, to
accept the situation, your weakness, instead of committing to making a different
choice and accepting what you deserve instead of settling for what you’ve got.

Your customers, your prices, your geographic location, your kids behavior, your
family situation, your relationship, your employees, YOUR REALITY. And on and on.

I’m blown away that some people actually can’t tell you what they want for the rest
of their life. They’re lying actually, because everybody knows, just sometimes
they’re scared because the future is so much easier to see and talk about than the
present situation – and what you should know is, you will always get yourself out of
the present, but you’ll only successful make it to the future if you are clear on
what you will and won’t accept for yourself and with others. This goes for business
just as it does for life.

Oh, last thing here, if you ever catch yourself accepting less than you know you
want or deserve, WAKE UP, because it’s your own fault – you need to go to work on
your deserve-levels, your self-esteem, go hang around people who make you feel great
about yourself, complement you, go get pampered, you do deserve it, all that you’ve
ever wanted. And if a business deal ever goes bad, to out to dinner, watch a movie,
get out of town for a day or two and start over again… The great thing about
“acceptance” is, you can begin anew, right now, in this moment. Today.

Scott Manning, President - Manning Methods, LLC. Contact by phone 317 407-3382 or email sj@manningmethods.com

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